The StaalShank Redemption. PENS WIN.

[ThickAndy]We're not going to lie.We were prepared to make a cruel joke about Vladimir Konstantinov and go to bed.But sometimes the hockeygGods like to remind us how lucky we are.At 9:15, it was just another whatev November night.It's getting cold again, Pens are losing, work/school in the morning looms.At 10:00, you're walking around like its May and the Pens just won a playoff game.Texts are flying in, you want to tell as many people as you can about what just happened.What a great day to be a hockey fan.What a great day to be an American.Before we get into the bulk of the game, it simply must be said that in the SCF last year, the Red Wings had the young Penguins intimidated and made them play their game. That's what beasts do. Last night's game shows what happens when the Wings play the Pens game. Punch for punch, offense for offense, the Pens prevail. Did Hossa even play last night?Is this redemption for losing in the SCF? No way. The Red Wings skate away from last night knowing they weren't up to snuff against a solid team in the early stages of the 2008-09 season. For a Pens team still trying to figure out what's going on, it's a big win. It exorcises demons. It's a statement game.Overshadowed in all of this is the performance by the Bee Gees.And Chris Osgood is horrible.This is what happens when his defense chokes. Watching the Penguins destroy him puts an extra hop in our step this morning. Finally.We've seen a lot of stuff. And without rushing to judgment or speaking in the moment, Jordan Staal played one of the best regular-season hockey games we've ever seen. Wow, just wow.[Jon W.]"OH, YOU DON'T USUALLY SAY A GOALIE'S PLAYED SPLENDIDLY IN A GAME WHERE HE'S GIVEN UP 6 GOALS, BUT TONIGHT CHRIS OSGOOD HAS DONE JUST THAT."-- Mike EmrickSERIOUSLY?AWFUL GOALTENDING PERFORMANCE. JUST PITIFUL.AND WINGS FANS HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN WHAT THEY HAVE BETWEEN THE PIPES.Hossa was late showing up for the game. Derek won the Cup in his NHL 09 dynasty Tuesday morning, and Hossa showed up at his house in the afternoon wanting to join the team.The Red Wings were the ones looking nervous early on.Crosby heads to the net.1-0Johan Franzen picks up where he left off in the SCF and is still a joke. Power play blog.The big deal there was Zigo being on the top unit to win some faceoffs.And he was up there all night.In what's becoming a common occurrence, a Pens giveaway at the blue line led to a 2-on-1 for the Wings.Goligoski takes a page out of Osgood's book and lies.This time, it was on the ice, and he thwarts a cross-crease pass.During that power play, Hossa handles the puck, and boos were clearly audible.Must suck being booed in your own building.Oh, wait, he's only renting it until he wins a Cup. We forgot.That penalty was killed, and then it was the Pens turn to go to the box.Eric Godard heads to the box.The penalty was killed faster than the Detroit auto-industry job market.Rob Scuderi puts his health on the line and blocks a shot.What a player. What an American. He was peaced-out for the game.We headed into the second half of the first, and play had shifted towards MAF.Another loose puck. 80 people in front of Fleury. 1-1.Zigomanis was headed to the box soon after that swift boot to the scrote.The Stroms took over.Niklas takes his Geritol and gets a shot off.Tomas deflects it past MAF. 2-1.Goligoski took a penalty to put the cap on the first. Vomit. We've seen this before.[J.S]Getty Images ain't no jokeTo start the second, the Pens poop all over the world, and Franzen has time to make out with his mother before putting one top shelf. 3-1.The Pens get another penalty for giving up the goal. Killed.Most uncomfortable hockey fan we've ever seen.[Jason M]Chris Osgood hadn't seen a shot since the Civil War and was cold as ice when Crosby and Co. jobbed around in the zone.Talbot heads to the net. Boobjob. 3-2.Osgood is such a baby.The Pens were given a golden chance after that with a powerplay.Marian Hossa works hard on the PK and streaks down the wing, but veers to the corner because he sees a 50-dollar bill laying on the ice.He sucks.[CoffeyTalk]After the busy start to the game, it started turning into Red Wing hockey: a bunch of nothingness in between Zetterberg and Datsyuk not scoring 100 points in a season.A Penguin finally hit someone towards the end of the second.Thank you, Matt Cooke.Late in the second, Fedotenko dumps it in and goes after it.Oh wait. Brad Stuart impeded his progress along the boards. What a play.At the end of the period, Pavel Datsyuk puts some bullshit goal home.4-2.That's the end of the second.Buckle up.Five minutes into the third, the Pens were moving to KC.Zetterturd makes his only appearance of the game. 5-2.[Mike D.]We were visiting with [Puck Daddy's] live blog when the goal was scored.Check out the joke Wing fans taunting us.oopsTempers were flaring. The Bingo Hall Louis Arena was rabid.Lee P. was planning a parade.The Wings, though, got lazy and stopped trying to mask their penalties.A couple of quick ones gave the Pens a 5-on-3.There's nothing like a 5-on-3 to get you started.Pass, pass, pass, shoot, salma hayek, pass, pass, pass, vas deferens, shoot.Finally, Malkin put one home. 5-3. Osgood looks around for someone to blame. It never fails.A little over a minute later, Osgood had to look around again.Jordan Staal switches to the rinse cycle with some nice stickwork in front. 5-4.Fist pump/woo[Will Smith]Uh-oh. Detroit's running scared.They better score a weak goal somewhere. Letang just misses from keeping it out.There it is. What crap. 6-4. Hudler is a joke.::::::::::::::::And then the Meltdown In Michigan began.[Derek K]The Pens weren't dying. They work hard. They see the mountain in front of them.Jordan Staal says F U with a loose puck. 6-5.That dude is pissed.Maybe because that's his wife.Uh-oh. Detroit's running scared.They better score a weak goal somewhere.Woops. Instead, they curl back into their shells.As the clock ticks down, deja balls sinks in.MAF races to the bench. Extra attacker. Casket match.Bing almost smokes Osjoke, but he actually makes a save.Babcock calls a timeout. Huge mistake.Mike Zigomanis rolls out for the faceoff. Bottom line is, last season, the Penguins just don't win that faceoff.Zigomanis wins it with ease back to Go-go, who gets it to Malkin.Malkin with a blast. Even Jesus Christ doesn't know where it's at.Jordan Staal does, making him better than Jesus. 6-6.Osgood, as expected, blames Jesus for the big goal.[Akus]Jordan Staal comes rolling down the ice again.Brian Rafalski and his experience take a stupid penalty at the end of regulation.The anticipation leading up to the Pens power play to start up OT should have its own blog.But no dice.The game was spiraling toward what would have been an anticlimactic shootout with Hossa probably trying to ask for a trade to the Pens then changing his mind.. We were ready to go until 2am, then we realized it's 4 degrees outside.That's where Jordan Staal takes over. Again.[Coren]Pavel Datsyuk gets embarrassingly lazy and lets Staal steal it from him.Staal to Tenk.GAME. That fast.MISCELLANEOUSThis would have been nice a couple months ago.Matt Cooke= Difference makerMatt Cooke > Joko RuutuTrade Staal. What a game. Get him some Advil.We rattled off photoshops. So if we missed one sorry. Thanks to all who sent stuff in. Credit for the title of this post goes to David D.What a game for Zigomanis.Staal scored set up Tenko at 1:11 of OT on 11/11.[Abel To Joke] will be sending his thoughts in at some point today because he lost our bet.WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBee Gees are back, jack.[Chris C]----[Kyle K.]*****We didn't have time to credit everyone for their 'shops/stunned pics. To make it easier, so everyone gets credit, write your intials in the photoshop you make in the corner or something that way no one can steal them from here, and you'll get credit too.********